just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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