Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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