We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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