He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
