On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
