DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
