This is not my ceiling
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
