I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
