somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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