ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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