I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
