If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
