just tell him i said nine months
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We don't watch enough power rangers
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
