too bad you live with your parents still
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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