I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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