Christians are straight up FREAKS
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
