my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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