Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
