I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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