he shaved USA in his pubs
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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