Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
