recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
