just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
