MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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