I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
