I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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