If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
