I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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