On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
