im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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