So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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