oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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