Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
