We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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