last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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