im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
