so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
