so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
