Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
