Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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