Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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