My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
