I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
