Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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