Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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