when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
