i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
honey bunches of taint.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
