I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
