Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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