we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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